I can hardly bring myself to do it. To tell the truth, that is. The question, however, is one that I am asked every day by well-meaning people.
“I’m doing OK, thanks. How about you?”
I then silently muse to myself over the truth of the matter. The truth is that I just told a big lie. The truth is that if the well-meaning questioner ever saw what I experience every day, the correct answer would be clear. I’m not “doing OK”.
My intent here is not a self-pity session. I can sit up and take nourishment with the best of them. I just need to take a little truth serum now and again. After all, I strain my guts out just to get dressed in the morning. My balance is so out of kilter that every day devolves into a contest not to fall down. Doing anything in public is a tribute to the efficacy of my wheelchair! MS is a deliberate, slow-moving insidious disease.
What’s next? I’m afraid to ask ! You’ve heard it said, “The damage is already done.” Is modern medicine about to quell, rather reverse the ravages of MS? I’m not holding my breath. Such a reversal would mean cleaning or eliminating the lesions that have accumulated on nerve endings in specific areas of my body. Those lesions define Multiple Sclerosis.
Is there a silver lining? Definitely!! Will an eventual vaccine serve to eliminate those lesions?
Hey, They’re working on it. One has to believe that this code will get cracked. I just wish that they’re getting close !
I’m tired of telling the big lie !
Pete Tucker 
Clearly, you are still a stronger man than I.
LikeLike
I have nothing close to your suffering, but arthritis in both hips forces me to use two canes and/or a walker everywhere I go. I rarely go outside except to supervise my grandsons on outside chores. The constant pain has affected my personality and I wonder sometimes how my wife puts up with it.
LikeLike
Your wife is worse off than I am. There’s a bonus with my MS. I’m weakened by it, but it causes me no pain. I’m thankful for that every day. Everyone has to count up their blessings and place them in the forefront of their mind.
LikeLike
Hi Pete, your old friend Charlie Mann here. I think about you all the time, like when little horse shit things I have to deal with through out the day! I think of how much you would rather be dealing with these issues instead of trying not to fall or the learning to deal with another symptom from MS. I don’t see it as a lie , I see it as a guy that won’t say quit!! I hope I have 1/2 of the determination when my day comes. Your friend CM
LikeLike
It took a lot of courage to tell the truth. Nice going my friend.
LikeLike
Uncle Pete! Thank you for this honest admission. It must be frustrating to feel like you have to tell this big lie to people, and I’m sure you’re doing it for their sake– to spare them from feeling uncomfortable. It is always an odd thing to ask someone “how are you?” when you know they are struggling. Thank you for giving us permission to enter a conversation more honestly. I hope you know you are very loved. Love, Kwith
LikeLike
Pete,
I’m very sorry to learn about your physical condition. As the good book sez, “Hangeth in there!”
Unfortunately, we won’t be going east this year yet again. Too much new COVID popping up. It’s been three years since we’ve been back there. We miss our Pennsylvania house and family and miss getting together with you too.
In addition to everything else, we are in the throes of remodeling our house and yard. There’s a lot of work involved for us in doing this. The remodeling project probably won’t be finished until the end of this year.
I’m still working full-time at the Lab but am mostly telecommuting.
I might have a new karate student (my two karate schools were shut down by the pandemic). I’ll have to figure out new ways to teach karate because my lower back has been destroyed by arthritis.
Please take good care of yourself.
Your friend,
#1
LikeLike